


Empty Space

by Nick_367



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (But if ya squint it has some of Iwaizumi Hajime's POV too), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Crying, Drinking, Getting Back Together, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Hook-Ups, Mentions of Sex, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, POV Oikawa Tooru, Post-Break Up, Sad Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nick_367/pseuds/Nick_367
Summary: Tooru and Hajime broke up. After that, Tooru continues trying find love somewhere he can't.Inspired by the song: Empty Space by James Arthur
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s) (mentioned), Oikawa Tooru/Original Male Character(s) (mentioned)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	Empty Space

**Author's Note:**

> I'd suggest listening to the songs:  
> Empty Space by James Arthur  
> In My Head by Ollie  
> Malibu Nights by LANY
> 
> In no particular order by the way
> 
> Also this takes place in 2019, so they're both 25

Tooru woke up in a room he didn’t recognize for the fifth time that week. His head was pounding as memories of the previous night came back to him. Memories of the alcohol he drank, the girls and guys he kissed, and the girl he left with. Memories of how he kissed her lips and most other parts of her skin, trying not to leave marks as she was not his and he was not hers. Memories of how he fucked her for hours until she couldn’t take anymore and neither could he. The only thing Tooru could not remember was her damn name because she never gave it to him. Well to be fair, he never shared his name either and he didn’t intend to. This was just a hook up, same as every other one he had had this week.

He climbed out of the bed. The same bed that the woman was still sleeping in. She was beautiful with her tan skin, dark brown hair, and light brown eyes. She had gorgeous lips and if Tooru wasn’t still hung up on his ex, he may would have asked her out, but instead he made sure to leave the room as quickly and quietly as possible. He left a note that thanked her for the good time and ordered her some breakfast. He did the same for all his previous one night stands.

He knew how his day would go from here. Tooru would most likely go to work at his shitty job. After he would probably go home and cry before going to a bar and looking for someone else to sleep with. Tooru had been looking for any form of love in a stranger’s bed after he and Hajime broke up three weeks ago. A love that he knew he wouldn’t find because regardless of how many people he slept with whether it were three more weeks or three years from now, Tooru knew that only Hajime could fill that empty space. But Hajime wasn’t there and it was all Tooru’s fault.

  
  


*Flashback to three weeks ago*

Tooru had come home to his and Hajime’s shared apartment in Tokyo, tipsy for the third time that week. He was late, again. The dinner that Hajime had cooked for him had gotten cold as it had the previous nights he cooked. Hajime was asleep on the couch as he had stayed up waiting for Tooru, again. Although he was asleep, he looked far from peaceful, Tooru noticed. Hajime’s brows were creased and he was biting on his lip, his lip that was trembling. He only got that look when he was angry or about to cry. Which one? Tooru didn’t know.

Tooru tried to be quiet and not disturb his sleeping boyfriend as he walked across the house, but that failed when he tripped over the carpet. He fell to the floor with a loud  _ thump _ and Hajime was startled awake, quickly standing up off of the couch. He looked at Tooru with slight concern, but considering Tooru was getting up with no problem, Hajime didn’t seem to worry much about Tooru’s current state. Tooru looked at him as he got off the floor and his eyes went wide when he saw how Hajime looked. He looked angry and hurt and Tooru had no idea why. Tooru was about to head to their bedroom when Hajime finally spoke after minutes of silent staring.

“Y-you promised,” Hajime mumbled.

“Huh? Iwa-chan, what do you mean?” Tooru was confused. What did he promise?

“You promised you were going to come home early tonight.” Small tears were starting to trail down Hajime’s face. Tooru rushed forward to wipe his tears, muttering several apologies, but Hajime slapped his hands away and hissed, “Don’t touch me.”

“Hajime, I-”

“No, Tooru. Don’t give me some bullshit excuse. This is the fifteenth time you’ve broken your promise this month. Should I even mention your broken promises from the previous months?!” Hajime was starting to raise his voice as he continued, “You keep telling me you’ll come home early for dinner, but you go out to a bar and get wasted off your ass instead! And who takes care of you?! Me! And who gets nothing in return?! Me!”

“Haji, that’s not true. I-”

“Shut up, I’m not finished,” Hajime growled before raising his voice once more, “You told me that you were coming home and you didn’t! Damn it, Tooru! We haven’t shared a meal together in nearly two months and I had to practically force you to eat with me that time! It’s been even longer since we had sex! Hell, it’s been six days since you kissed me, if you could even call the pathetic contact it was a kiss! It’s been five days since you told me you love me! And I don’t expect it each day, but the reassurance would be a bit nice considering that my boyfriend isn’t acting like he does!” Hajime pauses and rubs his hand on his forehead as he sighs before continuing, “I get it, Tooru. You had your world turned upside down four months ago when you injured your knee. And I know it sucks that you can’t play volleyball anymore and I know that it hurts considering that you worked your ass off. I know, but that doesn’t give you the right to keep hurting me just because you’re in pain. I can’t take it. You’re killing me here, Tooru. And i-it h-hurts. I-” Hajime was cut off as he choked on his own sobs.

Tooru wanted to run over, comfort him, and tell him it would be okay, but he didn’t have the right to do that. Hajime looked tired and broken, and Tooru could only blame himself. He clenched his shaking fists and asked, “D-do you hate me?”

Hajime, who had sat back down on the couch with his face buried in his hands, looked up and managed to choke out, “N-no, I don’t. T-that’s the problem.”

Tooru gasped as he felt hot tears creep down his face, but he still managed to ask, “W-what do y-you mean by ‘that’s the problem?’”

“I mean, the problem is that no matter how much you hurt me, I can’t hate you. I could never hate you. I do have a question though.”

“Ask anything, I’ll answer I swear.”

“You...uh...you’ve never cheated on me, right?”

“Goodness, no! Hajime, I would never! What makes you think I would?”

“I wondered if that were one of the reasons you had been staying out so late,” Hajime admits.

“No, never! I’m sorry you felt that way!”

“I believe you, but it still won’t change something.”

“W-what? What won’t it change?”

“The fact that I don’t know if I still love you,” Hajime nearly sobs out and Tooru’s whole world shatters.

“W-what? I thought you didn’t hate me?”

“I don’t. But just because I don’t hate you, doesn’t mean I still love you.” Hajime sounded composed, mostly, but it was obvious to Tooru how much that sentence broke him. And in all honesty, it broke Tooru too.

“S-so what does this mean for us?” Tooru question even though he was afraid of the answer.

“I don’t know, Tooru. I think we should take a break.” Hajime’s look was firm and unbreaking.

“No, Hajime! I swear I’ll change! I’ll stop drinking, I’ll eat with you every night, kiss you and tell you I love you, and have sex. I promise!” Tooru sobbed. He had gotten down on his hands and knees as he begged.

Hajime’s harsh look softened at the begging of the man in front of him, but he wasn’t going to break. He quickly regained composure, forcing his look harden as he hissed, “Stand up, Tooru.”

Tooru did as told and Hajime cupped his cheeks and gave him a sad smile before saying, “I can’t take you back. Not this time,” he gave Tooru a soft, yet sad kiss before continuing, “But maybe someday I can. Although, I can’t be what you need now, Tooru. And you are not good for me right now. I don’t....I don’t trust you to change yet, but maybe with time, we can make this work. Don’t wait for me though. Until then, this is goodbye.” Hajime gave Tooru one last kiss. It was filled with sadness and despair. They could taste the salt from each other’s tears. It was a goodbye kiss, they both knew it. After a minute, Hajime parted his lips from Tooru’s and started to walk out of their shared apartment.

“H-Hajime?” Tooru tried to get his attention and his now ex-boyfriend turned around.

“Yes?”

“I-if you knew what your choice was, why did you ask if I cheated?”

“Because if you cheated, I think any ounce of love I had for you would have died and I don’t want that. I just...I just wanted to know if you remained loyal to me until the end.”

“I understand. You know, I wish I had listened to you when you fussed at me for this a month ago.” Tooru let out a pathetic, humorless chuckle.

“Yeah...I wish you had too,” Hajime replied before walking out the door.

*End of Flashback*

  
  


A few days after that, Tooru had come home and nearly all of Hajime’s stuff was gone. The only things left were pictures and the hoodie Hajime had given him in high school. Tooru didn’t hesitate to grab the hoodie and lay in bed as he held it (since it was too small for him to wear it now). He curled up into a ball as he sobbed into the hoodie. Despite it not being worn in years, by him nor Hajime, some of his scent lingered on it. But is wasn’t the same. Tooru wanted Hajime there. He wanted Hajime to hold him and tell him it was okay, but that wouldn’t happen. Hajime wasn’t there and it was far from okay. Tooru had an empty space in his heart that was in the shape of Iwaizumi Hajime. 

After a week of sobbing and eating ramen noodles (he didn’t want to go out and that was all they had), Tooru decided to go back out. From there on began his habit of drowning himself in sex and alcohol. It distracted him from his heartache and for a second, during of those nights, he felt a form of love. It was just love for his body,  _ lust _ , but in his mind, Tooru confused it as a form of actual love. He continued searching for it in the bed of strangers, trying to find something similar to what he and Hajime had, and while he found a form of love, it was nothing like the love Hajime had for him.

Tooru thought his moving on process would be all smooth sailing until he began to notice something. Every single person he had hooked up with, they all reminded of Hajime in some way. Some in the way they looked seeing as most of them had dark brown hair and tan skin, and some even had eyes that were olive-green like Hajime’s. Some acted similar to him as they were jokingly rude. It was kind of disturbing how Tooru kept fucking with people that were like his ex. That was when he realized he wasn’t really moving on, but Tooru knew he never really would.

  
  


*Seven Months After the Break-up*

Tooru was walking home early in the morning. He was tired after the long night he had. He had worked overtime at his new job after he decided to finally get his shit together. He stopped having so many one night stands around two months ago, one month after he moved into his new apartment. He couldn’t bring himself to stay in that old apartment. Everything in it reminded him of Hajime. So he moved out in an attempt to try and start moving on. He still kept the photos and hoodie though, so it had not been much of a success. He still wanted to hold Hajime in his arms.

Tooru had just gotten to his house when he heard a voice that made him go stiff. A voice he hadn’t heard in seven months. It was his ex-boyfriend whom he missed so much.

“Tooru? Is that you?” Hajime asked.

Tooru turned around and before he could process what he was doing, he had already ran into Hajime’s arms, wrapping him in a tight hug which Hajime reciprocated. They stayed like that for a minute until Tooru realized what he was doing. He quickly pulled away from Hajime before muttering, “I’m sorry. I just...missed you.”

Hajime lightly chuckled. “It’s okay. I missed you too.”

Tooru finally looked a him properly. Hajime’s hair was still as spiky as ever, although it was slightly longer than the last time Tooru saw him. His eyes were still so beautiful, but Tooru noticed that they looked kind of sad. Hajime looked like he had been working out more considering that his arms somehow got even buffer than the last time Tooru had seen them. His jaw dropped a bit and Hajime stood there awkwardly.

“Toor- Oikawa, are you okay?” Hajime asked and Tooru regained his composure, although he was a little sad. It had been years since Hajime called him by his last name. It felt...odd.

“Yeah I’m fine, Iwaizumi,” Tooru responded.

“You can call me ‘Iwa-chan’ or ‘Hajime’ if you’d like. It feels weird you calling me something different.”

“Then call me by my first name, Iwa-chan.”

“Fine, Tooru.”

They stood in there in an awkward silence before Tooru asked, “Hajime, do you want to come inside? I want to talk with you.”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

Tooru let Hajime into his house and after Hajime accepted his offer, he made him some tea. They sat down and drank their tea. After ten minutes, Hajime sat his cup of tea down and asked, “Why did you invite me in, Tooru?”

Tooru pauses before suddenly firing back with another question. “Did you move on, Hajime?” He asked.

“So this is what you wanted to talk about? You wanted to talk about us?”

“Yes. Okay, I miss you, Hajime. And I swear I’ve changed. I got my shit together. I never really drink anymore, I’m working a decent job now, and if you can’t tell, I’ve managed to keep my house and stuff pretty decent as well.”

“I noticed. Your house looks nice.” Hajime makes no comment on anything else Tooru said.

“Look, I know you probably don’t love me anymore and that’s okay. I couldn’t make you love me, but I just want my childhood friend back. I don’t care if you don’t want to get back with me. I just need you here, even if it’s as my friend.”

“Tooru, I didn’t move on. To be honest, I still love you, but didn’t you move on?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“The hickey on your neck.” Hajime points out a fading mark on Tooru’s neck.

“Oh that. I don’t remember much about the guy who gave it to me. I remember asking him not to leave marks, but he obviously didn’t listen.” Tooru rolled his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Hajime raised an eyebrow.

“It was a one night stand I had about five days ago. It meant nothing. I never even knew his name.”

“Oh.” Hajime smiled a little, knowing that Tooru was single. Although, Tooru didn’t know that.

“Why are you smiling?” Tooru questioned.

“I’m just glad you’re single. That’s all.”

“Yeah, I could never move on. I slept around for while, but I never knew their names or anything. Then I stopped because I noticed something.”

“What was that?”

“They reminded me of you. That’s why I slept with them.”

“Oh. So moving on was really that hard?”

“Yeah, I think I cried in that old high school hoodie for around three months. Moving out of the old apartment was another attempt to move on,” Tooru admitted.

“But you still never succeeded at that?”

“No, Hajime.”

“Why?” Hajime asked.

“'Cause only you could fill this empty space.”

“Oh. It’s the same for me. And I take it by the way you phrased that, you listened to the song Empty Space by James Arthur after we broke up?”

“Yeah, I did. It was how I felt.”

They sat in silence once more until Hajime spoke, “So...where do we go from here?”

“That’s up to you. Although I would love to get back together with you, if that’s okay.”

“I would loved to get back together with you too, Tooru.”

Hajime leaned over and placed a kiss on Tooru’s lips which Tooru happily reciprocated. After a moment Tooru pulled away to say, “I missed you.”

Hajime smiled and replied, “I missed you more. I’ll never leave you again.”

“Me too. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

They went back to kissing and this kiss was more gentle. It was a promise to stay by each other and Tooru and Hajime intended to keep that promise until they die.

**Author's Note:**

> Little fact: Originally the plan was no happy ending because Hajime was dead. Then I changed it to where they didn't get back together, but because I love Iwaoi, they did. So I'm merciful.


End file.
